I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
