My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize