Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
