this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I understand Curling. That high.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
