Have you finally orgasmed yet?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
