My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
