You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
