I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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