Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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