I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
