I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
