if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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