Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We don't watch enough power rangers
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
