So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
