thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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