haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize