Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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