Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
