Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize