FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
