wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
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You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
where are my eyebrows?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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