oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
