Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
