I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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