I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
