wanna go halves on a baby?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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