yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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