you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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