Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
