Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
