they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
