We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
