I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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