sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
