Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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