Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She announced her abortion via fbk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
