Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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