Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
