FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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