So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
