your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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