So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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