I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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