you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The adults are the big ones right?
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