i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
