its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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