This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
