Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
