You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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