Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
