Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
