Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where is the hickey?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
