So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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