I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
