Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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