We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
