how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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