I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
