dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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