what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
