I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
God, I missed his penis.
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