You're so nebulous sometimes
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I want to fling myself into the sun
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
