My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
