Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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