if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
