Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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