is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wear drunk well.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
